


Near To You

by TheNevemore



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, broken SunDae, fluffy eventually, pining Seunghyun, slowly healing Dae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNevemore/pseuds/TheNevemore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Daesung let's his lover go, who picks up the pieces of his broken heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Near To You

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a gift fic for IndigoGrey. Happy birthday! I was listening to "Near to You" by A Fine Frenzy when this particular idea struck; you can actually see quite a few of the lyrics reflected in the story. If you've not listened to that song, you seriously should because it is excellent. Anyway, have a great night!

It had been so hard standing off to the side and watching them hurt each other. From the outside, it seemed like a perfect match. They were passionate, tender, and attentive to one another. Even the way they would hold hands or just look at each other seemed to spell out true love. And it made his heart ache to know not everything was as it seemed.

He remembered the way Daesung had slipped into his room late one night, wiggling like a fish caught on a line. The young man had pounced on his bed and bounced on him until he had finally opened his eyes. “You won’t believe what happened,” he said, his voice brighter than any of the lights in Seoul.

“Mm?”

“He kissed me,” Daesung breathed with a grin.

The man’s stomach had fallen straight through his mattress and down onto the floor – or so it felt. He could see how bright Daesung’s smile was just by the way the strip of moonlight outlined the full curve of his cheek. “He did?”

Daesung had nodded. “We were standing out on the balcony talking, and he just…leaned over. And kissed me.” He practically melted against the warm length of his bandmate’s body. “It was so perfect.”

He licked his bottom lip, trying to think of happy puppies and fuzzy sweaters in order to infuse his voice with a joy he did not feel. “Does this mean you two are an item now?” His lips were forced up into a smile.

Ducking his head, the singer giggled. “I think so.”

Except that it didn’t. They would hold hands and kiss and even sneak in dates, but the object of Daesung’s affection never sought anything beyond that. Well, nothing more official or involving emotional investment. There was always a polite distance – a holding back – that Daesung seemed to ignore. For months, the relationship held in its summertime pattern of being  _almost_ an item but never quite crossing that threshold. He could tell how much it was hurting Daesung, even though the quiet man still managed to smile. And when he would ask the angel if he wanted to talk, Daesung would simply shake his head, quietly saying he was fine.

One night, just after he had turned off the lights, the door creaked open once more. He heard the soft sound of a sigh and the creak of a floorboard. Daesung had never been good at hiding his presence; he was naturally full of so much energy that it poured out into the space around him. But, rather than speak, he waited to see what the younger man would do. Then, like a whispered pray, his ears could detect the soft sound of socks sliding across the bare wood floor. The mattress dipped, and a warm body pressed against the curve of his back.

“Dae?”

A pair of well-muscled arms slipped around his waist. “Yeah.”

“You okay?”

Silence fell about them, tucking in like a warm blanket, as Daesung weighed his words carefully. “We had something so beautiful,” he said finally. “But I knew… I knew it couldn’t last.” He tried to turn in Daesung’s arms, but the man held him too tightly. “I loved him so much – so, so much. But he couldn’t love me back.”

Carefully placing a hand over Daesung’s on his stomach, the man sighed softly. “I am sorry you are hurting. What.. what happened?”

Against the skin on the back of his neck, he could feel the strange warmth of Daesung’s smile and the salty wetness of tears. “I let him go.”

His breath caught. “What? But – you love him.”

Daesung nodded. “I know. But I had to. He was never mine to begin with. He couldn’t love me.” He sighed softly. “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

He tangled their feet together. “Of course, Dae. You can stay here anytime you need to.” Their fingers linked, and Daesung gave his hand a small squeeze – so quick he nearly missed it.

“Thank you.”

It was a painfully slow process, watching Daesung attempt to forget his lover. There would be moments where he would stare at the man across the studio and sigh softly, a wistfully sad look settling on his too expressive features. And then he would catch himself, shake his head, and return to whatever task he had been working on. When it got too bad, he would find the comfort of his best friend and snuggle against him – stealing the warmth of his body and his only too willing heart.

Their first kiss was extremely awkward. They were in Japan – standing on the balcony of their hotel room. He came out of their shared room and moved to lean against the railing at Daesung’s elbow when he noticed that the man was softly crying. His hand settled lightly at the small of the singer’s back. “Dae, what’s wrong?”

He hiccupped. “It was just like this. The first time he kissed me,” he gasped. “All I can think is about how he should be kissing me. Imagine the way his lips felt against mine the last time we touched. The hurt on his face when I told him that – that I was breaking up with him. How nobody will ever want me, because I’m so messed up because I let the man I love go. How I’ll never be kissed by anyone else – that his kiss will be the last touch I know.”

Turning his body towards Daesung, he shook his head slightly. “Dae, that’s ridiculous. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. I bet you could get a kiss from anyone right this minute if you asked. So many people adore you.”

Daesung licked his bottom lip. “What if I asked you?”

For the second time, Daesung managed to make his stomach drop in only a few words. He did not know how the brunette did it, but it had to be some sort of super power. After taking a steadying breath, he nodded. “I’d do it. If you asked.”  _And maybe even if you didn’t._

“Can you…?” His fingers gestured between their bodies; he was incapable of finishing the question. Luckily, his friend understood what he needed in that moment. Carefully, he wrapped his hands around the firm line of Daesung’s jaw and leaned close, the distinct cedar scent of the brunette wrapping around him. A soft sigh slid past Daesung’s lips as he closed his eyes; his friend paused to take in the sight before bringing their lips together in a gentle contact. It was a quick butterfly-touch of a thing, but his blood sang that one kiss meant there was a chance for more.

The moment their lips parted, Daesung dashed away – burying himself in the bathroom until his roommate had seemingly gone to sleep.

On the last day of the trip, as they toured the Golden Pavilion, Daesung suddenly said, “It’s better.” They exchanged a quick look from the corner of their eyes. “When I’m with you, it’s easier to not be with him.” Their fingers brushed lightly before they turned to pose for a picture together beneath a sakura tree.

Their first date was – well, it probably did not even merit the name. Daesung picked a movie for them to watch, and they snuggled up together on the couch while all of their bandmates were out doing promotions. If it weren’t for the soft kiss at the very end of the film, it would have been like any other movie night they had shared. But this kiss was special: Daesung was the one who caught his lips and tangled his blunt fingers in soft, dark hair. Then, leaning back, Daesung had gazed deeply into his eyes and said, “It’s hard to move on, but –“ he smiled softly, “I’m better when I’m near you. Be patient.” His friend’s answer was to fold him into a tight hug until they fell asleep together, tangled beneath a blanket, on the couch. Daesung was smiling softly in his sleep even when their bandmates returned – one particular set of eyes lingering along the angel’s face.

When Daesung asked him on an official date, he was only too happy to accept. They drove out to the countryside and found a little area to have a picnic. Daesung had laughed and frolicked and even done some ridiculous dance moves as they had sat up the blanket on the soft summer grass. It was as though some of the sunshine had returned back into his soul and someone had turned the lights back on behind his beautiful umber eyes. His date could not help but smile and join in the ridiculous dancing, even though he did not move with quite the same abandon. As they flopped on the blanket, feeding each other with their chopsticks, Daesung kept watching his date with a thoughtful expression. And, anytime their gazes would meet, he would grin widely.

“Is there something on my face?” the man finally asked, making Daesung giggle.

“No. I just can’t get over how cute you are.” Leaning over, the brunette snuck a kiss before sitting back to snag some kimbap. “That’s all.”

His date chuckled. “You need to get your eyes checked, Dae. The only cute one here is you!” And with that, the man pounced on Daesung – pinning him against the blanket.

“Ack! No!” Daesung laughed merrily. “Let me go. I’m not cute, I’m –“ His date, not wanting to hear his playful whining, sealed his mouth over the singer’s plush lips. One kiss quickly melted into another, and they tasted deeply of one another’s kisses in the warm summer sunshine. When at last they lay together – the picnic forgotten – Daesung’s head was pillowed on his chest, and a ridiculous grin curled both of their lips. “I’m so close to being yours,” he sighed. “So close.” His eyes fluttered shut, and in moments he was happily dreaming away.

Promotions parted them after that. For months, their schedules kept them in different countries, and it was agony. Every night featured a two hour phone call or skype session – whenever possible. When circumstances worked against them, they would record video messages for each other, detailing their days and how much they missed each other, to be opened at the other’s convenience. It was so hard to be apart – it was especially difficult for Daesung – but not as bad as it could have been. Somehow the knowledge that they were equally invested in the relationship just made it easier to bear the burden of the distance, even if the pain was still there.

It was the sound of the door unlocking that drew Daesung’s attention up from the book he had been reading. Having gotten home the week before, he had unpacked and settled into the refuge of his apartment. He had even managed to relax a little – on orders from a rather annoyed Jiyong. But the door opening meant only one thing: The owner of the other key was finally home. Tossing aside his book, Daesung rushed to his feet and pounced on the man, wrapping his arms and legs tightly about him.

Laughing, the man dropped his bags and wrapped his hands beneath Daesung’s bottom in order to steady him. “I take it you missed me,” he teased with a bright grin.

“So much!” Daesung pressed their lips together for a flurry of gentle kisses. “There are no words for how much I missed you.”

A much deeper kiss was exchanged before he carried Daesung over to the couch. “I missed you too, Daesung. All I wanted to do was come back home to you.” He playfully dumped the brunette out on the couch and draped out him, snuggling him like a pillow. “Ah, this… this is perfection right here. Best seat in the house.”

Daesung chuckled and combed his hand through the man’s soft hair. “It really is perfect,” he agreed. “Because I realized something, being apart from you.”

The man turned to prop his chin on Daesung’s chest and look into his favorite pair of eyes in all of Korea. “What’s that, Dae?”

Daesung managed to pull him in for a soft kiss. “I belong where you are, Seunghyun.” He stole a second kiss, this one even more tender than the first. “It took me so long to realize that letting Youngbae go was for the best. And as I stumbled around in the dark, you were there beside me – comforting me, supporting me, loving me. You helped the pain ease, and before I knew it the ghost of his touch faded away. I never thought that would happen. And then I began to realize that instead of imaging him when I closed my eyes, I would dream of you.” Daesung shrugged shyly. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you.”

Wiggling up the remaining distance, Seunghyun caught Daesung’s mouth for a slow kiss. “I would have waited a hundred lifetimes to hear you say that, Dae. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for so long…”

Daesung smiled. “I know. Will you let me be near to you?”

“Always,” Seunghyun promised.


End file.
